The Lies We Tell Ourselves
We are taught to be honest as children, and that it's bad to lie, which is true. Without honesty it's hard to build trust with yourself or others, it's hard to have healthy relationships both with others and with ourselves, however what about the lies we tell ourselves.
The lies we tell ourselves may sound like:
"I will get gas in the morning" how many times have you said this to yourself, then come morning, been rushing and more stressed because you told yourself it would be okay, that you'd have the time, "leave early" (another lie, even if it starts with good intentions) or that you have enough gas in the car for the morning.
"It's okay" or "I'm fine" most often when clients or friends say this to me, I will ask if they are really fine, and if it's really okay. Here's the thing, another lie we tell ourselves is that we have "to be perfect" or avoid "hurting others feelings or disappointing others" often at our own expense. Inner peace and inner happiness is priceless, stop decreasing it's value. Your feelings are valid, they matter, your emotions matter, you matter,
"I didn't do ___ perfectly, therefore I am flawed/imperfect" striving for perfection only takes away from your own happiness and inner peace. We all have our own visions or ideas of what perfect looks like and/or sounds like. We are also human, and we learn by trial and error, making mistakes, and being vulnerable enough to try new things and to be beginners. Perfectionism can hinder us even when we have the best of intentions.
"If I just ignore it, it will go away" I wish, but, no. If you ignore the dishes, more dishes pile up, same with the laundry, it doesn't go away. If you ignore your feelings or emotions or try to push them down or suppress them, well, we all have a breaking point. Everything catches up to us, it's better to "just do it" than use that magical thinking or procrastinate.
"I'm too old/young to do it" If I had a dollar for every time I heard this one... I'd be able to buy us all a latte at Starbucks... I thought this about myself when I was changing careers going into my 30's. You are never too young or too old to create a better life for yourself, to try something new, to start over! My first intern was 65 years young, changing careers, and let me tell you, she's fantastic! You are never too old or too young.
"I don't have a choice" YOU ALWAYS have a choice. It can be easier to pretend you don't or to point the blame elsewhere. However, accept your responsibility for yourself and your life. Create your own happiness. Create your own inner peace. Create the life you desire.
"I'm not good enough" okay, for what exactly? and by whose standards or expectations. When you think this or say this to yourself, ask yourself, what is it that you aren't good enough for? by whose standards? This is one of the detrimental lies that we tell ourselves that keeps us down, the more we say/think it, the more value we give it. With this phrase, we get stuck in a trap of self sabotage. Let me tell you, not only are you enough, you are MORE than enough, you are also capable, worthy, and lovable. Never forget that.
"This is my life, I can't change it" WRONG! you are in control of your life, you can chose what relationships you stay in, what you do for work, if you stay at a job, if something serves you well or not. You have the power to create the life you desire, and if it's not working, you have the power to change your path. Change can be hard, it can feel uncomfortable and leave us feeling vulnerable. When we are open to change, we are open to growth and new opportunities. Take a chance,
The lies we tell ourselves, they do more harm than good, they hold us back, they make us feel a lack of confidence and self esteem. Honesty is always the best policy, so be honest with yourself, be kind to yourself, stop telling yourself lies.
Tell me, what lies do you tell yourself? any why?