The Art of Enjoying Being Alone
There is so much value in learning to be alone, not being lonely, rather simply being alone and enjoying your own company.
How often have you made assumptions that someone eating alone, shopping alone, or attending an event alone must be lonely. How often have you tried to do something on your own and felt like others we're judging by or looking at you cockeyed? Me too. Until I realized that this was a pattern of disordered thinking. My brain tricking me into feeling insecure. When I checked the facts, I realized that those thoughts weren't valid at all. I was in my early 20's when I really started doing things alone, and my 30's I've truly embraced it. Don't get me wrong, I love being with family, friends, and meeting new people, but there is sometimes freeing and empowering about being comfortable sitting with yourself, learning to enjoy your own company, and practicing self-love and self-care. From international trips, day trips, solo hikes, taking myself out for dinner, going to the beach, or a museum. I find I recharge when I give myself time to just be. It's absolutely okay to do things alone. To do things you enjoy. To just vibe with yourself. It's okay to disconnect and enjoy your own company. I believe that my outer glow is a reflection of my inner peace. If I'm off balance on the inside, my glow is dimmed and I struggle to vibe higher.
Being alone with yourself allows you to truly find yourself. It's almost like a form of meditation. You will learn to be an observer, you will notice more details, using all your senses. You may learn to value your own opinions and beliefs more, while still appreciating those of others. You will learn to understand your true value, and that you are more than enough as you are, and that settling isn't an option. It's easy to fall into patterns, to find someone to spend time with, to fill a void, or to be avoidant. However, when you have high standards, practice self-love and respect, you become more selective about who you allow in your life. Remember, you are an amazing human as you are, and if someone isn't bringing you up, they are killing your vibe. You're better off solo than with someone who isn't the right fit for you.
If you aren't yet convinced that spending time alone cannot only be beneficial, but also fun, exciting, and rejuvenating think about this. You are in control, you are in charge, you set your own itinerary, and if you decide last minute to cancel something or change up your plans, there is no one else to discuss or compromise the decision with. I learned this on a solo trip to Thailand, I was going on tours and exploring every moment of every day. I had one day left in Bangkok and I was exhausted, so I chose myself, and my wellbeing. I canceled my bike tour and instead relaxed by the pool and even took a nap. Thus, being able to move at your own pace when you spend time alone. Maybe it's a day at the beach, hiking, or trying up and coming coffee shops for the day. No matter what is it you want to do, or want to see, you are in control of how much you do, or don't see or do. In doing things alone you are able to see things clearly, differently, and potentially enjoy things more. You may find yourself experiencing heightened senses, flowers and trees may be brighter, that meal may taste a little better, the smell of summer rain on the pavement may be a little sweeter. Not to mention that it's inevitable that even those of us who are the most social can't always be with others.
In spending time alone we learn to enjoy ourselves more, be comfortable with silence and sitting with our own thoughts. You learn to adapt to being alone, even when at times you may feel lonely, you become content with it. It may be harder to actually go out and do things alone at first. It may feel awkward or uncomfortable, until you actually do it, at which point it becomes empowering, exciting, and comfortable. You may notice you become more confident, that something in you shifts. You may even feel proud of yourself for accomplishing something alone. Be it a meal at a nice restaurant, a hike through the woods, a trip somewhere new, or a 13 hour plan ride. No matter what it is, you will have a sense of accomplishment and self-love, pride, and respect. Perhaps you even begin to value alone time, whether you are in an intimate relationship or not. We learn the most about ourselves when we allow ourselves space and time for reflection and to truly get to know ourself and what makes us tick.