Let's talk about comparison, and the emotional roller coaster ride we end up on when we get stuck comparing ourselves, our lives, what we have, and who we are to others. When you focus on someone else, and compare yourself, you are decreasing your own inner peace, happiness, and well-being.
It's something that many people struggle with on a daily basis. We compare our physical appearance, income, what type of clothes others have, what types of car's they drive, their positions at work, where they work, their home life, popularity, status, and the list goes on. Going deeper we compare ourselves to what we see on social media, in the news, and in our favorite TV shows. We then create unrealistic expectations of how life "should" be rather than accepting where we are and being grateful for what we have. These unfiltered, often not fact based comparisons leave us in a rut, feeling down, less than, unworthy, unlovable, and mediocre at best.
Most comparisons are considered dangerous or unhealthy. Of course there are some instances where it may be helpful to compare, if you receive two job offers, as an example, comparing the salary, benefits, paid time off/vacations, commute from home, well you get the picture, in that case, it may be helpful to compare, or I prefer "create a pros and cons list." You may also compare commute distance, lifestyle changes, and other factors when moving to a new location, this is being smart in order to make an educated decision rather than a thoughtless or impulsive one.
The comparisons that are "healthy" are those that inspire you to make positive changes in your life, however, for the most part, comparisons are damaging to our mental health and overall well-being. It's hard to get out of the habit of comparison, as our brain does it fairly naturally.
To stop comparing yourself to everything and everyone around you, try the following:
Being mindful and practicing mindfulness, noting when these thoughts come into your mind and not letting them bother you, simply notice them and send them on their way.
Practice gratitude, remember what you have, where you are, and how far you've come, be grateful for the little things.
Stop focusing on what you see as weaknesses and instead, focus on your strengths.
Practice self-acceptance
Practice self-love
Remind yourself, life is not a football game, thus it's not a competition.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Stop comparing where you are in life to where someone else is or where you think you "should" be.
Stop comparing what you have to what others have.
Stop comparing your happiness to someone else's happiness. This will suck the inner peace out of you.
Stop comparing yourself to accounts on Instagram, Facebook, and other social media platforms.
Stop comparing your size and how you look to anyone else, remember, you are beautiful the way you are, and you are YOU! that's your super power.
Stop comparing what you drive, where you live, your career, your income, the clothes on your back.
You don't need to do what everyone else is doing, you are your only competition and the goal is to be the best version of yourself.
When you get stuck in a comparison trap you are hurting yourself, taking away from your own inner peace, happiness, joy, and not allowing yourself to be fully present. It stop you from slowing down and smelling the wild flowers.
Remember, wild flowers don't compete or compare themselves to other flowers, the just BLOOM.
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